Sometimes it's hard to be positive...

The reason behind creating this blog was to write about positive experiences and even memories that have always made me smile, in a hope that it might make someone else smile for a while, and hopefully forget about any troubles that they may be going through.

But then I developed RLS. Restless Leg Syndrome.  It is an inherited disease, passed down from my Father's side of the family. (I wonder if my Swedish Grandmother had this?  She always favoured her legs as if they were an issue--but being a private person, she wouldn't have talked about it - at least, not with me.)  But some of her daughters and my Dad eventually developed it, and now I discover that my sister, and possibly her daughters have it or or showing signs of this debilitating and frustrating ailment.  There is no cure. That's it!  There just isn't--

As a result of RLS, legs jump in the night during sleep, due to uncontrollable leg muscle spasms.  I woke Chris up so many times in the past two years it had been a crazy time.  I didn't develop this syndrome until about 2.5 -3 years ago....Stupid legs I call them!  Anyway, last year after some amount of research on my part, and gathering all of the positive feedback and results I could, I discovered an intensive vitamin program that really works.  My legs have stopped jumping and my interrupted sleep patterns were beginning to improve--Sometimes I was getting up to 5-6 straight sleep hours--something I hadn't had for a long time.

Then the foot spasms started to occur.  This happened about a month ago...I'm lucky to get even 1-2 hours sleep straight--I wake up with burning feet, and they jump up from my ankle!  I got up very early about 3 mornings ago, as my feet were jumping and convulsing all over the bed....As I walked down the stairs I noticed that the front part of my ankle area as it connected to my foot was so sore, and tender to touch.  Obviously the convulsing had taken its toll on them. 

It is not a nice syndrome.  I just never knew about it.  Nobody ever really talked about it!  Nobody in my family had ever prepared me for what I could be going through--so here I am..battling with it. 

I have talked with my doctor, checking to make sure that the vitamin program I have designed is healthy and not harmful to me, and he agreed that my intensive vitamin program was healthy and couldn't harm me, but that there was little he could do to assist me, other than offer the same medication as one would for Parkinson's Disease.  Which by the way, only disguises this ailment, and often makes the side-effects worse, once going off the drug..

So here I am - each night I hope and pray that I will sleep longer--even 3-4 hours straight would be an improvement.  As you could guess, this is taking it's toll on me.  I have to push myself during the day to find the energy to keep going, and going back to bed after my first intensive vitamin program which needs to be taken with food, (which consists of fruit containing the potassium I need), usually means that my sleep pattern takes me into mid-morning or mid-day, depending on what kind of night I have had. 

Good thing I no longer have to go to a full-time job--I couldn't do it!

But I will conquer this - I am determined--there is a chance that my 2 daughters could inherit this, and this is why I am doing so much research, and testing it on me.  I don't want them to go through what I am going through.  I want to give them a solution.  I will, I know I will.

I'm a fighter and a survivor, and I will find a workable solution. Then the sun will shine again inside me, and I will fight these nasty dragons back to where they came from!  Believe me...I will!